?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Maybe pain is beautiful... [entries|friends|calendar]
Adrienne Lucas

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[16 Feb 2005|04:55pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Please. Just. Kill. Me. Now.

Nothing like vomiting out all your insides, then having your mother come to you with a big steaming slab of boar meat. I did manage to eat a little bit of it, thankfully I'm feeling better today-- Mom made sure to wake me up every hour on the hour and had me drink water. I have a bottle with me now, and I'm not supposed to be without one again.
I could have died, people die from sun stroke don't they? I shouldn't be thinking about that.
I feel bad for leaving Carly for so long-- I feel very well rested, which makes me feel better. So many people around here still aren't sleeping.
I guess in a strange way I'm lucky

post comment

[21 Jan 2005|01:03pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Claire is back, they found her-- Boone and Locke when they were off in the woods. Michael and Walt came back, but Vincent is missing again. I had a breakdown today, when I was with Sayid, we got to talking about school and then my Dad.
I hate this fucking place, Michaels raft is suddenly sounding like a good idea. I'm sick and tired of picking fruits, and writing in my journal and pretending everything is okay. Now that Jack has popped my shoulder back into place I feel better, I know that I need to be careful but now I have no excuse. I know my mother doesn't want me to do anything. She wants to keep me safe and she wants to keep me protected. Well, she
can't. No one can. That guy is still out there, Ethan. The "Canadian". Who the hell knows what else he's going to do. We're all targets. We're not save in the caves and now with the tide rising, we're not safe on the beach. I just wish that.... I don't even know what I want. But it's not this






Hope dangles on a string/
Like slow spinning redemption/

Dashboard Confessional Vindicated

post comment

Drop in the Ocean... [15 Jan 2005|08:30pm]
[ mood | numb ]

Maybe i'm a coward, i'm only scared of you
Or maybe i'm just tired of living here
I'm alive and i'm aware
Of what's going on around here

Holly McNarland Coward



[[flashback]]


She remembered holding his hand because she was afraid, she saw the fear on her mothers face. Turbulance like this wan't normal. But planes didn't just fall out of the sky. That was the movies that wasn't real.

She remembered the stewardess speaking into the intercomm and then she remembered the plane suddenly dropping-- and the people who didn't have their seatbelts on went flying up in the air and crashed to the floor, over seats and didn't move.

The plane jerked forward and now the overhead compartments opened, Adrienne covered her head instinctively and didn't feel any pain as a heavy carry-on fell aginst her left wrist before toppling to the floor. She didn't feel the snap as her bone fractured, she didn't feel the heat as it swelled and bruised. She didn't feel it as her Father secured the mask on her face before securing his own. She gasped short breaths, and watched with wide terrified eyes as the ground rushed towards them.

Then there was a loud ripping sound, and she screamed once before everything went black.



She heard everything before she opened her eyes, and for a fleeting moment she thought she'd just fallen asleep and it was all a nightmare. Until she opened her eyes and saw a span of clear blue sky pan out in front of her. She was lying on her back, still strapped into her seat, she looked to her side and saw sand and she saw bodies and she saw a flash of someone running.

It took her a moment to catch her breath, then she fumbled with her seatbelt before managing to get it undone. Earphones were still hanging from her ears and she ripped them out of her ears, flinging them away. Then she turned and dropped out of her chair. The impact sent her left wrist screaming in pain and white flashed before her eyes, she gasped clutching her arm against her chest.

The stench of smoke and fuel and the sea was in the air. She crawled across the sand, before finally coming to rest on the sand staring at the scene in front of her. Someone was lying prone in front of her and she was certain he was dead until she watched him wriggle his foot, then he lifted his head. Adrienne scrambled away from him, she tried to push herself to her feet, but she stumbled. Finally she managed to get to her feet without falling and she turned around, still clutching her broken wrist to her chest.

She didn't think to call for her mother, not really, not until she saw something familiar--someone familiar. She didn't realize anything was wrong until she got closer to him, he was pinned under a large piece of shrapnel and when she fell to her knees beside him she saw his that his bright brown eyes were already clouded over with death. They were already unseeing. She moaned deep in her throat and reached out with her right hand, she pushed her hand against the cold flesh of his face, she fell over him. Covering his body with hers.

"Dad," she whispered. For one frightening moment Adrienne thought this was it. They were gone, she was crashed, stranded and alone.

A strangled scream tore from her throat and she didn't realize she was still screaming until someone wrapped their arms around her, pulling her closely against them, rocking back and forth. Rocking until the screams turned to sobs and the sobs subsided to soft cries, then hiccoughs then finally silence. Victoria Lucas kept rocking her daughter, clinging to her small body.

Her arms hung limply at her sides, and tears streamed down her dirty face. Her mother was hugging her, but Adrienne didn't return the guesture.

Suddenly a different noise filled the air, and someone yelled and then there was an explosion, Victoria covered her daughters body as the ground rumbled benieth them. Finally Victoria pulled Adrienne to her feet, and Adrienne stood wrapping her uninjured arm around her mothers shoulders.

They stood like that, until someone came up to them, Adrienne knew he said something but she didn't hear it. She let her mother lead her away, and Victoria whispered in her ear, promising something.


-


"Adrienne?" Victoria asked, she was holding two bottles of water and a plate of food.

Her daughter turned her head, her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Her normally golden blond hair was matted with sand and blood from a cut over her eye.


The doctor had come around to all the people who's injuries were more serious than just cuts and bruises. He had smiled at Victoria before looking at Adrienne, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He tilted her head up, peering at the gash over her eye. He had a battered first aid kit in his hand and he pulled out a Bandaid. He poored water over the cut before wiping it out with a swab of cotten. Then he strapped the Bandaid on and took Adrienne's arm in his hands.

He didn't need to ask if her arm was broken. He used what he could to support her wrist-- a piece of plastic that looked like it had once been a food tray. Then he wrapped her arm with shredded pieces of cloth. Then he used another strip to make a sling.

Victoria had thought they were very organized after a plane crash. But after the initial shock wore off, people moved into action. Adrienne cried out and Jack said something softly to her and Adrienne nodded. Then he gave her an Advil and moved onto the next patient. A very pregnant girl who was sitting a few feet from Adrienne.


Adrienne's eyes looked at the water and then the food. Victoria sat down and Adrienne took a bottle, uncapped it and took a long drink. Then she took the plate of food and unwrapped it, she used her fingers to rip apart the chicken and eat the watery mashed potatoes. She leaned against her mother instinctively, and Victoria moved closer to her.

As she looked out at the sea, she had suddenly had a thought. David would have loved it here. Tears came to her eyes but she was too tired to wipe them away (even though she knew for certain she wouldn't be sleeping that night). A tear dripped off her chin and landed on Adrienne's arm and they both watched as it slipped down to the crook of her elbow.

The night air grew colder as the sun set. People were reassured that there would be a rescue ship soon, and then sometime around two AM people finally started to quiet down, as they slept or feigned sleep.

Adrienne yawned and blinked, she and her mother were laying down. A fire was crackling and sand trickled down her shoulder into the front of her shirt. She meant to fight sleep but before she could her eyes were closed and her breath was even and slow. Victoria stayed with Adrienne until morning.


-


That had been nearly three weeks ago. Since that night Adrienne had started talking again, once the pain of her loss became easier to bear. She found her carry-on and discarded her suitcase, except for her new journal and all her clean underwear. She also started to make herself useful, trying to help with whatever she could, Victoria still didn't like to let her out of her sight but she wasn't nearly as protective as she was before. And had watched from across the beach as Adrienne and Walt had played with Walt's dog, tossing a stick into the sea. The dog didn't seem to realize that anything was wrong. Adrienne thought it was amazing that Vincent had survived at all.

She also had started thinking about the future, and even though a lot of people had left for the caves (soon they all would) and even though the monster had come and that woman had drowned out in the sea and even though there were polar bears and it was likely they might never be rescued. She still thought about the future. First it was only until the next hour, then the next day and she had to force herself, but soon she was looking forward to the days on the beach. It was almost normal and people were even getting into routines.

There was still the fear of course, and the saddness and the unknown-- always the unknown.

But in the end there was hope, and for now that was enough.

post comment

When it doesn't rain, it snows... [14 Jan 2005|09:43am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

When Adrienne found her suitcase she thought she'd be happy, but then she opened it and everything came rushing back to her. Everything that was lost, everything she'd never have again. She'd pulled out a journal, that she bought especially for the trip, she'd just decided to start journaling. Thankfully she found a pen, and so she started writing whenever she could.



[[journal entry]]


Damn, I'm hungry. Sure there's fruit and the boars that Locke has been catching but I mean... I'm hungry for junk it seems like forever since I've had chocolate, I've heard talk that some guy on the beach-- I think his name is Sawyer, has a stash of stuff that he's keeping. From what I've heard I'd have to sell my soul for a chocolate bar. If he even has one. Now I've got myself thinking of food, like noodles and popcorn and nachos and cheese and even Kraft Dinner-- Okay. That's enough, enough torture for one day.

It is really beautiful here, and if it was under any other circumstance I might actually be happy to be here, but God... I just want to go home. I just want...


Adrienne paused for a moment, looking out across the beach, there weren't many people left out on the beach, especially now that the water was coming up so high when the tide was in. She looked down at the crisp page of her journal and continued writing.


It seems like that's all I'm doing lately is wanting. It's just... this whole thing is like a really bad action movie, something I figured would never happen to me. Doesn't help the fact that all that other shit is happening, with that thing out in the forest, and the polar bears. I'm sorry but, what the fuck is that about? I don't think I was so scared as I was when that guy Charlie and Claire-- the pregnant girl, went missing. Jesus. Things just get worse and worse. I wish Dad was here, I wish that he wasn't dead, I keep wishing for things that will never happen. I'm sick of crying, even if Mom says that tears are okay. I think I need to go and do something, help move stuff up the beach. I need to keep myself occupied. And maybe... go sell my soul for that chocolate bar.

post comment

[13 Jan 2005|06:10pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

Alright. This here is my character for Lost RPG, I'm not sure which one yet, since I haven't gotten a reply, but when I do I surely will edit this entry with the correct community name! Assuming there ever is one! Anyway. Here goes a little bit of characterization goodness... It's not the greatest, but it's a start anyway.



Name: Adrienne Lucas
Nicknames if any: Dee, Poppet.
D.O.B: 12/21/88
Height: 5'6"
Hair: Blond
Eyes: Green
Country they're from: Canada
Hometown: Toronto
Reason for being in Australia On a family vacation to visit relatives.
Injuries sustained from the crash Physical: A laceration above her right eye and a broken wrist.

Hobbies: Writing, journaling, she used to like swiming but wont go in the water on the Island.
Favourites
-Colour: Green, orange, pink
-Animal: Horses
-Movie: Anne of Green Gables, Lord of the Rings, The Cutting Edge.
-Book : Tithe: A Modern Fairy Tale, anything by Jane Austin.
-subject: History, English, Biology
-music: Something Corperate, Jem, Saving Ferris

Siblings: Only child
Parents: David Lucas Deceased. Victoria Lucas survived

If she could go anywhere in the world where would it be Thailand, England, Paris, France.
What's her biggest pet peeve: Name memorization games, getting tomatoes on her bugers when she asks for none, pushy vegitarians.
What's her biggest fear: She doesn't have just one. One of her fears was flying, also claustrophobia, death, being alone, Michael Keaton in Beatlejuice.
Any medical conditions, or illness: Allergies to hay and snow mold.

When she sleeps what does she dream about? Ever since the crash she hasn't been dreaming-- she's been sleeping but not dreaming. Before she drempt of friends, family, the odd celebrity, what everyone dreams about.
What is her personality: She is rather outgoing, but since her father died she has become more introverted. She's rather cynical-- "I'm not angry, I'm bitter".
What does she do to pass her time on the island: She's taken to braiding her hair, over and over again. She also is still keeping a journal, the only thing she kept from her suitcase.
What has changed since the crash?: She found her luggage, but she didn't want anything she found inside except for her journal because they reminded her too much of everything she lost. Her father is dead, her mother is trying to make the best of things but it is obvious she is likely close to a breakdown. After the crash she didn't talk for almost a week.
Does she think they're going to be rescued?: Maybe. If the polar bears, monsters don't get them all first.
Who if anyone, has she become friends with?: her and her mother are closer than they've ever been before. She likes Rose, who doesn't expect her to be happy or normal. She respects Locke but he makes her nervous. She doesn't resent Jack for taking the leadership role. She likes order and if someone is willing to stand up and pull everyone together she's all for it
Is she religious? She believes in God, especially since the crash.



Anyway. That's all I could think of for now, I might add to it if I find my list of questions!

post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]